So success. I found some curtains! Only one pair - one room sorted but thank the lord for small mercies. They were only ten pounds from the charity shop and whilst they may not be my first choice were I comfortable enough to choose - I'm not and they are clean and inoffensive. Result. I have also spent a large chunk of the day panicking about what to get the boys for Christmas and I think I have sorted that too. I bought these ... 

 

For a total of £15 and I'm going to make the boys a film night box and fill it with a blanket, popcorn, drinks, hot chocolate, marshmallows, sweets glow sticks a couple of cheap dvds. I have to get some paint to paint the crate before I put the stickers on. All in all I reckon I can get it all in for £40 for the two of them (the crates come in threes so I can do one each and keep one for the spuds) Im sure I have some ceramic pens somewhere and if I can dig them out I can decorate them a personalised mug each too. Then that just leaves Santa gifts but I might leave them to the other half as my creativity and funds are totally drained. 
I feel so energised by my minor successes - I might just pull this off!!
No one else will get presents. I don't have to worry about my extended family - they do some draw thing and know we aren't in it so I won't feel guilty. I'll have to do pound shop bundles for my niece and nephews and just a selection box for my friends children. No prezzies for the other half or other adults - just too poor. 

I so love Christmas it really does fill my heart with sadness that I can't do it properly. Next year will be better. And if the box comes off like this one I'll be chuffed. 

Starting Over

So by the age of thirty your supposed to have it in the bag right? This life gear? Your supposed to be a grown up?
Stability. A home, a husband, summer holidays and a car. A job, money to pay the bills. The husband the kids - icing on the cake. 


Well look at me now. According to my own criteria I would be a failure. All I have is the icing. I am starting over, starting from scratch just this time with three people who rely on me to get it right because I'm supposed to know. Im making a confession - I don't! 

Last week I moved my family into a new flat - well new to us. It wasn't a planned move as such and the first time I have felt my life spin out of control since my very early twenties. But now we're in I have no money to decorate it - to make it homely not even enough for a Christmas tree. But I'm going to do it. I have to. My boys are relying on me to make a home - so by hook or by crook I will make us one. I am going to peruse some charity shops in the hope of picking up some curtains and while they are away this weekend I am going to scrub the place until it shines. So much to do so little time. I'll upload some photos to trace my progress tomorrow.