Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

Friday, 13 May 2016

Baby no.3

So I haven't updated my blog in far too long. You all know the drill - life gets in the way, too busy, too tired etc. I thought after Christmas and into the New Year that I was going to get some help for my 'emotional wellbeing' - basically I was depressed. The situation with my family had pushed me beyond the brink and that combined with ever present and real money worries was too much. I started to get these terrible migraines (I have never suffered them before) and eventually bucked up the courage (mostly because of the severe pain of the headaches which lasted three weeks at least) to visit the doctor. When I explained my symptoms she suggested tension headaches but wanted to run some checks as well so sent me for a blood test. A few weeks later the results came back low in iron and folic acid. - Time for another test!
And so it is out of something terrible a miracle comes. A little ray of hope in what seemed to be such a bleak time in my life. I'm not silly having to take maternity and then pay for childcare compounds our problems but we've been through worse and can make it.
This baby will be my last so I am trying to 'enjoy' my pregnancy. Any woman who has experienced pregnancy can tell you that in itself it sucks - having said this I cant wait for my second scan to see if its a boy or a girl!

Sunday, 10 January 2016

New year - not so new me!

Christmas was wonderful - my children were grateful and my in laws were supportive. I felt like the break up north was a break from my worries. I was free. 

I  am determined not to start the New Year plagued with the same worries as I had last year. Not enough money - too many things to pay out - no way to make more money. However my new years resolution - "Only worry about things you can influence" has meant I haven't cried every day! 
This quote is so true so I can't afford to sink to the pressure of worries about things I can't change. 
I am working as hard as ever at work and enjoying my class. Really I think my class is the only thing that keeps me sane. I have thrown myself into organising SATs prep and smaller group work and think we should have everything sorted for the coming term. I hope so! 
Christmas was good - a blessing - but it made me long to be in a position to move back up north far more then I had before. The atmosphere, the places, the people - I miss it all. With no real extended family of my own down here my in- laws stepped up which was so reassuring. If the absolute worst was to happen and my husband was not taken onto a permenant contract at his work we wouldn't be homeless - we could move in with the MIL and survive. Obviously it is the last thing we would want to happen but its a security net that exists and for that I am so grateful. It has given me a goal - something to aim for. Keep scrimping, keep paying things off and we will finally be in a position to move back up north. 

We have budgeted to within a penny and we can just make it. I have opted out of the pension scheme at work - theres no way I will survive to pensionable age if I don't do something to make some more money now and between hubbies shifts and my day job it makes taking on part time virtually impossible - either through conflict of interest (I need all the hours I have to be the best teacher I can) or logistics (waitressing/bar work would rely on regular hours which with hubbbies shifts changes is impossible.) so, plough on tightening the belt as frequently as I can. 
I am hopeful that 2016 teaches me to be humble and grateful for all I have - I know I am defiantly thankful for my husband, my boys and the roof over my head far more then I was for the vast majority of 2015. I have felt the kindness of others through freegle and gifts of time, money and kindness far more then I had when times were good. I got more curtains for my house from another kind stranger on New Years Eve and cried in the car for a good half hour in gratitude for their kindness. My second new years resolution is to remember - everything happens for a reason - perhaps this happened to bring you into my life? 

What are your new years resolutions? Could anyone suggest any money saving/making tips I could try out? 
Thank you for reading my blog - it is something that has kept me going when I could have broken.